The 2014 Ridiculous Basketball Player Names Bracket, CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

April 6th, 2014

[Previously: First round, second round, sweet sixteen, second round, elite eight, final four.]

This is it, the final showdown. After a long, fiercely competitive, hit-count friendly month of titanic struggle and mesmering battle, we have eliminated 62 competitors in the first annual Ridiculous Basketball Player Names competition, and are down to the final pair. So established already are their names in basketball player folklore that it is beyond tricky to think of a single fresh and funny thing to say about them. And thus we need only provide their stories so far.

(1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims

First round: Won 359-40 v (16) Indiana Faithfull
Second round: Won 125-39 v (8) God’sgift Achiuwa
Sweet Sixteen: Won 85-37 v (5) Solomon HorseChief
Elite Eight: Won 40-34 v (3) Typhoon Dusk Nurse
Final Four: Won 38-24 v (1) Gang Wang

(1) Steeve Ho You Fat

First round: Won 289-51 v (16) Jose Antonio Alcoholado
Second round: Won 121-32 v (8) Gregor Fucka
Sweet Sixteen: Won 83-22 v (5) Lior Lipshits
Elite Eight: Won 50-20 v (10) Stanley Titsworth
Final Four: Won 39-28 v (10) Scientific Mapp

We have made no effort to reach out to either player, and thus neither has any comment.

Vote now. You have until the end of the actual national championship game.

Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims or Steeve Ho You Fat?